The Sisterhood of the Traveling Veils

Tonight after Mass I was accosted but in order for you to understand the tale of happenstance I must back up approximately 2 hours to the time allotted for Reconciliation at our parish.

****DISCLAIMER**** - I am not "anti-city people".  I was one once.  For the sake of understanding this post please note that I attend a "small by your standards" Norvus Ordo parish that's 45 miles from the next priest available.  On a "good Sunday" we have approximately 150 people in attendance.  There's only 1 Mass per day, 2 to fulfill Sunday obligation.  This story occurs on a Saturday Vigil Mass when I usually attend since I'm too lazy to wake up early enough to attend the "early in the morning to me" Mass with the nearly 1 hour commute to get there.  I veil - I began the practice before I was even Catholic.  I often tie my veil under my hair so it isn't as noticeable as well as to prevent toddler hands from taking off with it. ****END DISCLAIMER****

My son's Mass clothes were in the car so after he changed I ran the ones he wore to town outside while he was spending some time recanting to Father one half of the tale he would inevitably hear about our family that evening.  When I came back in an elderly gentleman who appeared to be of "city origins" was standing in the back of the parish floundering around a bit.  He saw me and came over and quietly asked where the confessions were being held.  I pointed to the door behind me (unmarked, no lights, could be a broom closet for all he knew) and told him they were there.  Full of anxiety he asked me of there was a screen and I told him our parish's "set up" (a chair and a place to kneel with a small curtain and a short wall and then you can walk around and sit/kneel with Father and a 6 ft. crucifix if you prefer).  He went and sat down and I thought we were done.

I knelt down behind the last pew and started my own examination of conscience and a few minutes later he came and tapped me on the shoulder and asked if he could bother me.  Of course I stopped for a minute and agreed.  He asked how he would know it was time to go in.  I told him when the door is open, you can enter.  The next person out would be my son and he was more than welcome to go next, I needed more time anyway.  He thanked me and went back to his seat.

I didn't see him again afterwards due to "the usual mommy things" and trying to get in some spare prayer time so when I noticed him at the end of Mass still in his pew after I finished my prayers I thought I might have a chance to make sure all was well and wish him safe travels on the way home.  I ended up walking out silently near this gentleman and a lady in a veil who appeared to be his wife.  

As we walked out she reached up and removed her veil and I took off the long scarf I was wearing in lieu of a veil that week.  She immediately turned as she saw the flash of blue to the side of her and realized what I'd done.  Halting in her tracks she spins on one heel and says "OH!  You wear one too!"  I gently started to explain I tie it under my hair due to the toddler but quickly ran out of breath as I was squished half to death by this tiny woman in glee.  She turns to me and says, "You know, there are more of us" as if she is imparting some kind of massive secret. 

I smiled and told her I knew and we began to part ways, her recounting the encounter of the strange woman who actually veils at the N.O. parish in the middle of nowhere to her husband and I began to gather wool in my head about what a delight it was to meet her and the "Sisterhood of Veils" that exists across the world. 

Whatever your veil is made of, be it the finest French or Spanish lace as hers was or the far more humble $5 Walmart clearance polyester scarf I had on my head know that it's about so much more than you.  Your veil is your connection to Mary and to God but it's also your connection to hundreds of thousands, possibly even millions of women who veil around the world in humble grace and awe of His Divine Presence.

And if anyone knows who this delightful little woman was, please tell her she brought a huge smile and one of the best hugs I've had in months to this "strange woman who actually veils at the N.O. parish in the middle of nowhere".  I've never gotten a hug at church before other than my toddler.  It was a refreshing experience.  May the Lord bless her and her husband and their travels and may they reach wherever home is safely.

Reflections

Today the Lord gifted me with some spare time for reflecting on things.  I am always grateful when those moments come - to see how far we have gone and what we have accomplished; to see the ways, both miniscule and ginormous, that God has been working in my life.

It's been 13 months since my husband was taken out of work due to the worsening of his disability.  Some things haven't changed one bit.  We still live in the same home, go to the same church, drive the same car, homeschool, etc. In fact on the exterior I don't think many people have noticed much of a change, if any.

At times, much to my fury, other things that have not changed: his disability is *still* not improving enough for him to return to work and the therapists say it could take 3-5 years.  Despite this information the VA refuses to up his disability rating because "there's a chance at recovery".  *sigh*  Great.  What about NOW?

It's the interior of our lives that has changed so much.  I pray more.  I've learned to trust God more.  I've spent more time with my family than I've ever been blessed with in 12 years of marriage. I've been given the distinct opportunity from God to fall in love with my husband all over again.  I've had the chance to see more of the state of Montana than ever before thanks to a wide variety of doctor's appointments all over the state.

My oldest son has gone from being a Cub Scout to a Boy Scout.  He is now dual enrolled in 2 troops and so busy I can barely keep him where he needs to be.  Our youngest has passed his second birthday and discovered the word "spaz", much to his delight and our chagrin.

My husband has gone through many phases: exhausted from trying to keep up a charade of health to scrambling to try and fix his health to where he sits now, the proud owner of his own business who is working on his dreams. He has grown so much, especially as a father.  He has time for the boys now and they can't imagine a world where that goes away again.

Friends have come and gone and come again.  These are the moments in your life when you find out where people truly stand.  Do they *really* have your back or are they just more fair-weather friends who bail out of the ship the very moment things don't go their way?  I am grateful for the new ones in my life but I am even more grateful God gave me yet another opportunity to sort the wheat from the chaff.


To those who have prayed: Know that God has heard you and that we could not possibly be more thankful for His new plans for our life. 

To those who have left: Thank you for getting out of the way so God prepare us for even greater things.

To those who have stayed: Thank you for sojourning on with us.


So often in my life I find myself reflecting back to works of literature I have read and seeing how the meanings morph and shift as I grow older.  This particular poem is one we have all heard but many do not know the actual story behind it.

From 1912 to 1915 Robert Frost traveled to England where he developed a friendship with another writer named Edward Thomas.  The two frequently took long walks together and Edward's frequent issues with indecision on which way to travel further led to Mr. Frost penning this now famous poem with tongue in cheek about his friend's difficulty when they came to a crossroads. 

Mr. Thomas took the poem far more seriously than it was intended as did the rest of America, much to Mr. Frost's chagrin.  It became his final push of inspiration to join the British Army in World War I.  Two short years later, shortly after arriving in France, he was killed on April 9, 1917 in the Battle of Arras.

Much like Mr. Thomas, this poem has meant so much more to me than a jest between friends.  I apologize to Mr. Frost for not taking his words at face value but sometimes the Lord gives us the ability to write something that is truly meant to mean something very different for others.  Every songwriter in the world can attest to this happening to them, yours truly included.

The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost
(first published in 1916 in the collection Mountain Interval)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

The Big Week!

The big week has come.  The plants have been selected and are all paired nicely with their companions.  We tilled this weekend and are all set to start turning in some extra nutrients (I like manure, peat moss, and compost personally) during the week and then Thursday through the weekend we'll be putting the seeds and seedlings into the ground.  I promise to share pictures. :D

How are your gardens going?  I know many of you have a jump start on me but I'm ecstatic to be sharing with all of you. :) 

ENOUGH

Apparently I have yet again missed the "gravy train" parents ranting on both sides of the fence about food allergies, food sensitivities, and anything else that might cause them to have to think twice (or would rather NOT have to think twice) about what they are serving someone else.

I'm the mom of 2 boys - neither has severe food allergies (thank God) although one does have some very minor apple sensitivity issues.  I have NEVER in all the years I have worked with children (now 20+) had a problem with a child and their dietary needs.  EVER.  If you're one of my Scout Moms, CCD Moms, Homeschool Party Moms, then you already know that I care DEEPLY about these things and your child's safety because I would pray that if the tables were turned you would care as much about MY child.

I am HONORED to have the chance to work with your children.  I am BLESSED to have the opportunity to spend time with them and have them help change MY life - yeah, that's right - MY life.  Your kids make ME a better person and I am grateful.  Food allergies, medical issues, and all.  Your children give me the gift of seeing the world through their beautiful, intelligent eyes and I am the better for it each and every day.

I've been the person who has gone to a party and not been able to eat ANYTHING I was served.  I've been the girl who had to quietly push food into a napkin so she didn't offend anyone.  I've flushed chili down a toilet to keep a host from being embarrassed.  Attending food events is often a nightmare for me because of my food allergies and my desperate attempts to keep anyone else from having to deal with them. I have even ended up in Confession LYING to get out of attending these events to save myself and hostesses from embarrassment that I inevitably know would ensue.

My own experiences are why I never mind helping my kids.  I even *gasp* don't allow them to have "substitute treats".  What's good enough for one is good enough for all.  Scout Campout?  Make sure everyone can eat what is on the menu and pick food using the democratic process.  CCD Snacks, yup - I'm the Mom sending carrots and dip or fruit kabobs.

You know what the funny thing is?  I've NEVER had a child complain.  Not in 20+ years of doing this.  Maybe it's because I try very hard to make certain all is still "yummy" but more than likely it's because I don't allow them to play favorites.  I've had gluten free, dairy free, food coloring free, vegetarian, vegan, soy free, diabetic, etc etc etc.  Never a problem - not once!  Sure, sometimes we had to get rather creative, but we made it work!  And the kids are BETTER for it because they're learning to work together and actually CARE about other human beings!  *I* am better for it because I get to use my creativity to create new and exciting things in the world of food!

Stop the whining - ALL OF YOU.  I get that it stinks on both sides of the fence.  Telling a kid "no" is NOT the end of the world - on BOTH SIDES.  If ALL of us could be just a little more compassionate maybe our children can focus on solving world peace rather than arguing over whether or not cupcakes are an acceptable snack.

My New 4 Letter Word

There is no secret that my world focuses extensively on my 2 beautiful boys and my amazing husband.  Yesterday while running errands I had a few minutes to think on words and what I would like to eliminate from my vocabulary.  One word in particular came to the surface.  I've used it quite often and when I really thought about it, it's been used 99% of the time as a pretty white lie:

One 4 Letter Word that crushes imaginations, disappoints, and creates chaos in my life.  When am I TRULY too "busy" for the people I love?  I went through and counted up the things I'd been "too busy" to do in the past week.

• I was "too busy" to check on Netflix for a neighbor who was looking for a recommendation of survival shows to watch. 
• I was "too busy" to let my son help me make dinner at least half the nights in the past week. 
• I was "too busy" too many times to count because I was on my computer researching or doing something *I* wanted to be doing instead of playing with my children. 
• I was "too busy" to properly clean the house and work on the things my husband asked me to do.
• I was "too busy" to cuddle with the toddler.
• I was "too busy" to help my son put up his tent in the yard. 
• I was "too busy" to take the kids to the park. 
• I was "too busy" to leave for Mass on time so we were late. 

I'm "too busy" too often for all the things that should matter the most.  100% of the "too busy" above can be described in one sinful, loathing word:

Or as the Church calls it in the 7 Deadly Sins, Sloth.

So for all of you out there who are "too busy", I invite you to join me.  For the next month - until June 15, I will be banishing "too busy" from my vocabulary.  I will either explain why I was not able to do something with what I was doing that prevented the activity OR I will....get this...DO what someone is asking of me.

Join me - we could change the "too busy" world we live in, one mind at a time. 

A Minor Nightmare and a Gallant Rescue

I love camping.  I absolutely 110% LOVE camping.  There is nothing like getting away from being plugged in and taking the kids out to the middle of nowhere and getting lost in God and everything He has made.

I'd like to introduce you to my tent.  Actually, this isn't a pic of MY tent, but the current model available for sale at Kmart.

It's HUGE.  I nicknamed it the "Chalet".  It's actually 3 "rooms" in there. GINORMOUS tent.  There's even built in closets!  I'm not joking!!!  STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!

Last summer my gorgeous tent went to camp with my husband.  Unfortunately in their haste to take it down the last morning, they forgot to make certain it was dry.  They were CONVINCED it was 100% dry.  I never checked (bad Mommy).

Yup - mildew and mold.  In places that are well over the top of my head (it's about 7 feet tall at the peak!).  This is NOT good.

I sat there inside the tent with the box that had just arrived and wanted to cry.  My beautiful tent was being eaten by mildew and cleaning it was going to make me sick and possibly blind (bleach overhead is NEVER a good idea).  I looked at the box and I wondered....what if I used the essential oils inside to clean it?  COULD they do the job?  Were they CAPABLE of this feat?!?!?!

I went inside and got to work doing what I do best on Google.  I checked my favorite sites, a few recipe places I'd bookmarked, a book I'd purchased, and came to the conclusion.  I think I can do this.

My favorite site, Learning About Essential Oils provided the Basic Bathroom Spray I was going to base this on.  I <3 Lea's site.  She's a fellow homeschooler and a REALLY neat lady.

That said, I also knew that tent was going to have a toddler inside so adjustments needed to be made.  I substituted the Peppermint in the recipe for Fir Needle, a similar oil in terms of performance but safe for little guys to inhale while Mom is scrubbing over the top of her head.  I also needed to use Cinnamon Leaf instead of Cinnamon Bark due to little lungs.

I also didn't have a ton of vinegar on hand and the only spray bottle I had to use was 2 oz.  More adjustments necessary.  So I decided to mix up the oil magic and then dilute just enough for my little bottle.  I made the full recipe of oils in a 5 ml empty bottle (always have these on hand!!!) and then divided the total number of drops (120 for inquiring minds) by 3 (because 6/2=3) which equaled 40.

I put 1 tbsp vinegar, 1 drop of dish detergent, and 30 drops of the oil in the bottle (I figured I could add more if needed).  Swish swish.  Topped it off with H20, sealed, and swished again.  Armed with a damp sponge, I went to work.

100% of the spots have faded at least 50%.  About 50% of the spots are completely gone.  On 9 month old mildew!!!!

Even better news, the combined properties of these essential oils area antifungal (Cinnamon Bark, Tea Tree, and Lemon), anti-microbial (Cinnamon Bark), antibacterial (Cinnamon Bark and Lemon), and act as a natural deodorizer (Fir Needle).

Oh, and I still have my sight.  That's a biggie. :D

Packing for Travel

The sun is shining, the warm breezes are beginning to blow, and rainy season is almost through!  It's time to start looking at travel plans for your spring/summer adventures!

The very thought of going "on the road" brings on sheer panic for Moms across the country.  Our family is used to living out of suitcases and recently some of you asked me to share the packing lists I use for my children.

Overnight
2 Night
Weekend
Week Long
Camping Weekend
Camping Week Long

I print these lists out and then laminate them with glossy laminating pages.  Each child has their own color card stock the original list was written on so they know it's "theirs" and a dry erase marker.  When we're getting ready for a trip a use a WET erase marker and draw a line through anything they do not need to bring.  Then use the same marker to write in anything in the blank spots they need that is not on the list.

For younger children, have them lay their items out on the bed for you to check before they put them in the suitcase.  This is also helpful for older children who may try to "sneak in" questionable clothing leaving you with no option other than wrapping them in a blanket for the entire vacation.  For these children I mark off their list as they put the items into the suitcase (or vice versa).  For children that are capable of packing themselves have them mark off their items from the list and pack their suitcase.  Once it's all checked off we leave the suitcase open with the list sitting on top for Mom or Dad to check along with their marker.

Once the suitcases are checked, they are IMMEDIATELY locked with a luggage lock.  Why?  Because little kids will undo your packing and older children with modesty issues might try to swap out clothes.  For security reasons, all luggage is locked in our family.  Problem solved. :)  That luggage is then moved to the central packing area which is usually our dining room or mudroom depending on how many suitcases and how long until we leave.

Voila!  No more left behind socks and no bringing 50 shirts to choose from for teenage girls.  No more emergency runs to the Walmart for the child who brought 10 toy cars but no pants.  All the arguing is abrogated because everyone has the same list and the same amount of space.

When you're packing up to come back home, out come the lists again.  Have the kids check off the items as they repack their suitcases.  No more left behind favorite shirts that have to be shipped later!