Day Four: Soul Cakes and more!

In case I haven't bragged enough over the years, while my upbringing was not Catholic, it was rich in REAL history and I am so blessed to have had it.  A favorite from my childhood? Oh, around this time of year my father and my mother who were both amazing musicians and singers would pull out their guitar and banjo respectively and sing me this song:

Yup - my parents were that cool.  I knew the "Soul Cake" song about the same time I knew how to walk.  My mother also made the delectable little cakes/cookies herself.  For those of you who don't know about Soul Cakes and the original "Trick or Treating", going from home to home on All Saint's Day and All Soul's Day for a cake from the mistress of the home in the words of the great Paul Harvey... "and now you know".

So before you go out today, tomorrow, and Saturday to beg for a treat from the neighbors, just remember, it all started with the Catholics - yup - yet another thing the Protestants can properly "blame" on us.  We are responsible for "Halloween".

Over and above the "extras" in your schedule please remember that tomorrow is a Holy Day of Obligation so if you plan on attending Mass in the morning for your obligation, set out clothes the night before and please limit candy to prevent the amount of long term bouncing off the walls before bedtime. 

And no, I don't mean the kids - be kind to your waistline - those pesky holidays are right around the corner - only pinch a few treats from the buckets and then set them aside or even consider trading out your kid's treats for a book or special treat they've been wanting.

Now, let's start talking turkey - all that Halloween candy in our home becomes the basis for holiday baking!  Anything miniature is often set aside to be melted down and/or put into cookies whole.  Solid chocolate bars are saved for melting and putting into homemade ice cream as well as some of the candy bars which we chop up and add in at the tail end.  Caramels are saved to be melted down and used in a variety of holiday treats.  So, don't be afraid to go grocery shopping in those treat bags.

Now, make sure the few things you plan to tackle over the next few days are reasonable with all the extra things you'll have on your schedule.  Tomorrow is the first Family Mission Friday on our schedule and I'm looking forward to having your families pitch in and help.  For those who are new to Catholic Creativity, Family Mission Friday is when we enlist our families in our efforts to increase the pairs of hands available and decrease the workload on Mom.

In the meantime please know I will be praying for the deceased in your families and I pray that you will join me in praying for the deceased in mine.

Day Two - Waxing and Waning

We are in a season of our lives where our oldest (10) is pushing the boundaries of patience and our youngest (18 months) is in the "screeching" phase of life.

I spend a LOT of time praying my Rosary.

Now, let's talk Monday.  How did it go?  Did you accomplish all 10 tasks?  If not, that's okay - add them to today's do list.  We'll have a "catch up" later in the week for when those things happen.  Christ was kind enough to give us the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Penance for our mistakes here on earth - His solution works for us too. ;)  In the meantime I want to talk more about preparing hearts and how we can get ourselves the time we need down the road in Advent.

We all have periods where we wax and wane.  For those not familiar with these "old" terms they mean to grow and shrink respectively.  I'm not talking about the weight loss roller coaster - although I'm nearly 100% certain you know that version of waxing and waning as well as I *eye roll*. 

The holidays become a natural time for waxing, particularly when it comes to the "stuff" in our homes.  "Oh what a lovely...it's just so UNIQUE!" over and over and we can't bear to disappoint Great-Aunt Martha so we retain "whatever-that-was" and so on and so forth.

The holidays, for many of us, have also become a time of waning.  A time of waning patience, tolerance, and even sometimes, faith. We become frustrated with the crowds when shopping, irritated with sudden "must do" engagements that weren't on the schedule, and often the more upset and flustered we find ourselves, the further we have walked from the purpose of this season - to prepare for His coming.

While Wal-Mart tries to stretch the period of retail Christmas preparations well into September, the Church was far more intelligent about the average person's attention span of a holiday.  How many times have you gotten to Christmas lunch with an attitude of "Thank God this is almost over!" and collapse into bed that night in relief and exhaustion?

This year it's going to be different and that's going to start right now.  We are going to "flip the switch".  It's time to wax in our patience, tolerance, and faith and wane in the "stuff" department.  We're going to wax in love, joy, and hope while we wane in commercialism and greed.

Back to that day planner we looked at yesterday.  Spend a bit more time with it and look at the "required" things on your schedule already.  Which ones bring you joy?  Which ones are things that you are excited about getting to do?  Which ones make you want to go and hide in a corner?

I can't take away all the bad ones and tell you it's perfectly okay to skip your sister-in-law's annual Christmas Party and pretend I did the right thing.  I can tell you to take the ones that don't need to be there off your list.  I can tell you to find ways to really enjoy the ones that bring you happiness.

As for today, you have a few things you need to get done on the "getting caught up" list and also today I would like for you to take a quick inventory of your situation with towels, sheets, tablecloths, napkins, and any other linens you keep in your home.  Give them a good look - you already know what they look like.  Are they serviceable?  Do you wince when someone spends the night at your house and has to use a ratty towel?  How about those dishrags?  Have they seen better days?

I know the budget is tight this time of year but in all honesty, I'm a much bigger fan of getting gifts I can USE than those that will rot.  I believe the same thing for my family as well.  We're very well known for asking for someone to purchase towel sets for the kids than for someone to purchase toys.  Toys they have. Towels I need.  This year, both our children are getting new "more grown up" bed sets for their bedrooms.  I'm making a quilt for each of them to go along with new sheets, blankets, and pillowcases.  Maybe even curtains.  No, it's not a shiny new iPad but unlike that iPad, it will still be serviceable in 5 years. ;)

Start rethinking what you're going to ask for and what you need.  Start rethinking your budget and  how to manage it for the holidays - and while you're thinking, tackle those "to do" items and get them out of the way so we can start getting to the more fun stuff. :)

(See the original post for The Era of Preparation or go to Day 3.)

An Open Letter to My Sons

My dear boys, there aren't words for how much love I have for you.  Neither of you is aware of what is currently happening with Miley Cyrus and her poor choices she made this weekend.  For that, I am grateful and I am doing my job as a parent.

This girl made a mistake and it's a mistake she can never get back.  The world in which you will grow up and live in doesn't give room for mistakes and forgiveness.  Not for celebrities, and not even for little boys who live in the middle of nowhere. 

There will be girls down the road that will try to catch you eye by acting like Miley did.  Don't just turn your eyes away out of respect for the human being inside that display of eroticism who is being abused and degraded.  Pray.  Pray for all you are worth. 

Pray for the person who is being driven to these acts of behavior by whatever means they found themselves in this position because one only comes to that point out of desperation.  Desperate for money, for fame, for glory, for attention. 

Pray for the other people witnessing it for they need to learn to keep custody of their own eyes and hearts, even the men.  Especially the men.  Because men have purity and chastity too and it belongs to the wife they will someday marry.  Images you see in your youth can never be unseen.  They can harm your marriage before it ever begins because you will hold your wife to the things you have seen.  She should not need to be desperate enough for your love that she will degrade herself for you.

Pray for the parents of the person who is doing these things.  Pray that they have the wisdom and the words to help him or her away.  Pray that they can find a way to help that person fill their need so they are not driven to such acts.  Whatever that need is, it can be fulfilled without this kind of behavior.  It is not necessary. 

Pray for me.  Pray that I will continue to have the strength to resist these things and to help keep my own home as you remember it in your childhood, a haven from this kind of sin.  In return, I will continue to pray for you as you fight these battles.

Pray for each other.  Encourage each other in purity.  Men are told this is "normal" and "okay". It's not.  Pray for each other and help each other grow in love and faith, not debauchery and excess.

And if you fall from grace, go to confession and seek forgiveness.  Get back in grace with God and know that you are loved by Him and by me.
I raised you to be men who follow God's word and callings in your lives.  God calls you to be pure, to guard your eyes and your heart for the woman who will someday unlock them with a key God has already given her.  Even when it's not easy, even when it seem like there's no point in trying to remain pure, think of that woman and of how much she will mean to you someday. Think of your own daughters.  That woman is someone else's CHILD.  Think of your own sons to come and how much easier it will be to help them remain pure if you remain pure yourself.

This isn't just about a moment of gratification.  It's about a lifetime of pure love.