Saturday, April 6, 2013

My Guardian Angel Wears Combat Boots

I am so blessed.  There is not one single doubt in my mind that I have a Guardian Angel - I know who he is and where he came from.  I know exactly what he is telling me and precisely when he is sending that message.

My Guardian Angel is the man who saved my husband's life in Iraq - and lost his own life in the process.  "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:13 NRSVCE That passage meant so much to me, even before this happened.  Now it is my very favorite Bible verse, and one that drives me every day of my life.  This man sacrificed himself, and his future, so that I would have a husband.  This man gave everything so that my son would have a father and that some day we would be blessed with another child.  His love saved me from being a 24 year old widow. 

Now, how do I "know" this is my Guardian Angel?  Let me back up a minute here.  In August 2001 a particular song was released on the radio and no one paid much attention - it debuted at #55 on the Billboard Country charts and even though I was a disc jockey at the time, I hadn't even heard it or if I did, I hadn't paid attention.  The fate of that song changed drastically when the attack on America happened on September 11, 2001.  This song spoke volumes and quickly rose to #2 on the charts. After the rush of songs hit the airwaves a few weeks later from artists across the country, this song quickly faded back into obscurity.  It's rarely played and at times I've gone over a year without hearing it - and I listen to a LOT of radio. 

Ever since my husband was wounded, when there is a time that I am struggling - when I am at my lowest.  When I get in my car in tears and I don't know what I'm going to do.  When I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the next hour, much the less tomorrow, this song comes on the air.  I may not hear it for months between airings - but when I need to know that what I am doing is right, there it is.  When I need encouragement so bad I could scream, it's right there.  When I can go no longer, it "magically" appears on the air waves...

...and this sense of pure calm comes over me.  I can't describe it, there are no other words.  Someone in Fiddler's Green airjacked the station and there that song is.  

I stop crying.  I stop having a panic attack.  I know, deep in my soul that whatever I was fighting with, whatever demons are out there trying to attack me it's going to be okay because he's still got my family's back like he has ever since that fateful day in Iraq. 

My Guardian Angel wears combat boots.  He still loves us from beyond the grave enough to reach out and help us through.  I will always be grateful to him, and to that song and the peace it gives me. 

Today my Guardian Angel hijacked the radio again.  I'd been struggling with my husband's migraines and various commitments I have made.  I'd been concerned with doing too much and at the same time not doing enough and over the airwaves it came, the familiar opening chords immediately soothing my soul.  Maybe today it can help soothe yours too. :)

1 comment:

  1. We are all guided and protected in one way or another, yet it is so rare that we can recognize it. Good luck to you and yours and remember - your guardian cannot take away all the hurt, but they will never let through more than you can handle.